there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize