Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
