remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
