Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
