stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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