How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
