R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
