sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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