Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my poor anus
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
