pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
