I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
