Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
