I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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