Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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