he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
