thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
