Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
