for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
