Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
