I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
