"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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