My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
