if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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