false alarm. still invincible.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
