How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
