could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
