dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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