You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
