Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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