He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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