Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize