The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
