Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
