just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
