If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
