Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
