And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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