Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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