I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh god it's open bar.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
