no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
