I didn't shave. On purpose
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We need to rekindle our bromance
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
