i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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