Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
