i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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