also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why is there bacon in the couch?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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