I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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