just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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