i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
