I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
