My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can I color on your dick again?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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