so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
