Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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