My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
