My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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