They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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