I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You can't just leave with hair like that
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
