We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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