thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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