Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
