ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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