just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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