Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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