last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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