What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
