The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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