"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize