Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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